Megan’s recovery epitomises the theme of Addiction Awareness Week
When the organisers of the UK’s Addiction Awareness Week came up with this year’s theme of ‘Addiction affects everybody, but recovery is possible’, it’s almost as if they were thinking of EPIC consultant Megan Vanderson.
As someone who concurrently battled multiple addictions – most pertinently gambling and drugs – her subsequent recovery in her early 20s and her move to EPIC to help others learn from her experiences is a beacon of hope for anyone currently finding addiction impossible to beat.
To get to a position where she now engages with audiences around the world to help others recognise the signs of addiction and beat it before it gets out of control, she has had to endure some considerable challenges, early in adulthood.
“I probably started gambling when I was 20 years old, so very, very young,” she recalled.
“That age was the prime time for me to be going out socializing with friends, but what happened was slowly but surely I found myself stepping away from my friendship group, isolated myself more, rather than going down the pub and having drinks with my friends.
“I found myself wanting to stay inside and gamble more. And over time I become so much more isolated. I found myself not caring about my appearance, what I looked like, brushing my hair, brushing my teeth… to the point where I literally wouldn’t shower or wash because the only thing I could think about was gambling.”
The comorbidity of drugs and alcohol played their part in Megan’s initial attraction to gambling, as she cites her cocaine addiction as playing a pivotal role in seeking a different stimulant. She continued:
“I am dual addicted, so the cocaine definitely didn’t help, because when I would be using all night, I needed something to keep my brain going. That is eventually why I started to gamble in the first place, to be honest.
“But when I stopped using, I found that there was just something inside of me that just needed something to fill that void, so I kept gambling in secret and then eventually when I relapsed, the two became hand in hand again and I was just off.”
From a cycle that for many would have seemed impossible to break, the support of those close to her was crucial to her recovery; even if it initially meant that some of her family found it hard to believe what she was truly going through.
“When I was in recovery for a cocaine addiction, that was something that was very easy to speak about. I could walk into a room and say, ‘hello, my name’s Megan and I’m a drug addict’. But I was so ashamed of my gambling. I kept it a secret throughout that whole recovery.
“Eventually I had a massive relapse, and that’s when people started noticing the change in behaviours for me, because I’d become isolated. I was scared. I never saw my mum.
“There was one day and it was the first time I’d seen my mum in about three months and I was eight stone. My nose was just pouring out with blood and I just remember her face. She was like, ‘Megan, what have you done to yourself?’
“I eventually went home after she threatened to call the police. I told her for the first time that I was a compulsive gambler and she laughed in my face because she didn’t believe me. She said, ‘no, you’re lying – there’s no way you could be a compulsive gambler and I’ve never known about it… you are lying to me… all that debt you’ve accumulated is because of drugs’.
“It wasn’t until my auntie come round and saw all my bank statements that she was able to see what was really going on and then she finally believed me. That was really hard at first because it was the first time that I’d been honest and they didn’t believe me that I was a compulsive gambler.
“It took them a while to get used to that fact, but luckily I’ve got really supportive family and they helped me every step of the way.”
Since finding the benefits of that love and support, Megan has made huge steps in her recovery, and has taken the chance to repay much of the help that she received along the way, explaining:
“I went back to my old rehab twice and got to share my message with them. Being able to go back to the treatment centre that basically saved my life and being able to share my experience with people who are literally in the same position that I was, it was incredible.
“I share my story quite a lot in meetings. I’m a regular attendee of GA, AA and CA, and I’m very proud to be a part of that as well. This level I’m now at with EPIC is something completely new for me and I’m just so excited with what I’ve got stuck into so far.”
If you recognise any of the issues Megan encountered in your own life, please don’t hesitate to reach out to dedicated support services – details of which can be found by clicking here.
